Typical 423 Communities Meeting
One of the greatest privileges that we have inside our groups is that we get to step into the space alongside these brothers and sisters, and introduce them over and over again to the grace and love of God, allowing them to step out of hiding, out of isolation, and into the freedom of being known and loved
Hebrews 12:1 speaks to our participation in this type of community and what it should look like as we live life together.
“Therefore, since you are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race set before us..”
Now let me stop us there, and reflect on a couple things here. One, This verse says nothing about running this race alone, it intentionally highlights participating inside a community of believers, gathered around, working and moving together inside vulnerable community. When we do this together, the practice of letting others in, of being truly SEEN by others, it allows us to throw off everything that hinders us, it invites us to remove the shame that comes from being unknown and allows us to begin to participate in the healing work of being inside the body of Christ, the healing work of being fully know and fully loved! In interpersonal neurobiology, this concept is called co-regulation. Regulation being the practice of restoring things back into alignment with how they are supposed to function. We know that sin has twisted and distorted everything, causing inside the human race a dysregulation, a disruption in how things are SUPPOSED to function.
We attempt to fix this dysregulation with a myriad of influences: drugs, food, unhealthy relationships, anxiety disorders, depression, sexual addiction etc.. all trying to recreate the stasis that we long for. When this dysregulation is not reconciled, it leads us to shame and the cycle repeats itself.
However when we, as the Community of believers, as beings created to function in and from a place of loving union with God and each other, step into the space of being each other’s “Great cloud of witnesses..” It allows for our loving presence to be that outside force that allows for the removal of shame, the removal of “Every weight that clings so closely” so that we can run this race with lasting endurance. We step into relationship with one another as co-regulators, bringing each other back into harmony, into “Regulation” with the relational dance of the divine intimacy.
This is the form and function for why 423 Communities exists. To provide a space for individuals to enter, for them to be known, for them for the first time to receive love and affirmation from a group of brothers or sisters. Inside this group system, the practices of radical confession, repentance, and reflection of one another inside the community, leads towards deeper and deeper levels of self-understanding, fostering healthy emotional and spiritual growth. It is from these dynamic relationships of intimacy and trust, that true healing is able to begin. From this space, our communities work to equip one another with clinical recovery resources, focusing on repairing ruptures, unpacking emotional trauma, and building effective relapse prevention tools to aid in the journey of recovery.
So firstly our communities are about welcoming in the outcast, the downtrodden and the broken, wherever they are at and witnessing them, or seeing them
#1 priority of group | Create a vulnerable, grace based, community of “Witnesses”.
• Our 1st goal of group is to provide a space for someone to be seen, known and loved in the midst of the story.
Our grace based community allows for the freedom
from shame to start the journey or recovery.
Yet when we look back at Hebrews 12, we see that it is simply not enough to only be witnessed, not enough to simply be welcomed into relationship. It is inside of a community of grace that we begin to run our race with lasting endurance.
#2 Priority of group | A Community of discipleship (running the race set before us)
Our secondary goal, nonetheless important, is to be disciples together and equip each other to be active members in discipleship to Christ and inside our recovery journey, leading towards total restoration.
Our time in community together must lead towards the health and growth of our Christian life, as well as our specific recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games trains with strict discipline. They do it for a crown that is perishable, but we do it for a crown that is imperishable. 26Therefore I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight like I am beating the air. 27No, I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.
So as we gather together weekly to “Witness” each other inside our confessional communities, we throw off shame and every “sin that clings so closely” so that we can begin to equip one another to “Run the race set before us!”
Change is possible, and there is hope, but we cannot do this alone.
Here are some practical applications of how groups function week to week
423 groups are gender-specific and meet weekly throughout the year.
Groups consist of a maximum of twelve men or women of various ages, vocations, and backgrounds who share this one thing in common: All members of 423 members struggle with sexual addiction or the trauma caused by sexual sin.
Meetings are never longer than two hours, and always begin and end in prayer.
“423 Communities Guidelines” are read at every meeting.
Meetings consist of a short, assigned lesson with the majority of the time spent in open discussion and personal sharing.
Sharing insights from regular devotional prayer, Bible reading, and personal journaling (PB & J) is a regular part of 423 meetings.
Members of 423 recovery groups are asked to establish and share their personal sexual sobriety lines or emotional health lines with the members of the group. Each week members report on their personal progress in recovery.
Every member of 423 will be given an opportunity to share their personal story of struggle with sexually addictive behaviors or trauma caused by sexual sin.
Each individual is expected to fully and honestly disclose the nature of his/her sin, offenses, and shortcomings with regard to their personal “line.”
No one is allowed to cross-talk, offer advice, or preach at other members of the group. This is a subtle way of introducing shame and judgment.
423 meetings offer a safe and grace-filled environment for members to confess their personal journey of recovery with others who will offer empathy, compassion, mercy, and strength.
When members see each other in a public place outside a 423 meeting, they do not reveal another member’s connection to 423 Communities to those outside our recovery program.
What is shared in a 423 group remains there. A member who intentionally breaks confidentiality by revealing personal information to people who are not part of the group may be asked to leave 423.
If married or engaged, members honestly confess their history of sexual sin or trauma to their husband or fiancé (wife or fiancée). Initial disclosure of this kind should be made early in the recovery process after prayer, careful preparation, and wise counsel from group leaders. Full disclosure should remain a regular part of marital intimacy.
423 Young Men or 423 Young Women: Members are encouraged to share their history of sexual sin with their parents or guardians if they believe their home is a safe environment for disclosure of this kind.
When 423 members achieve and maintain essential sexual sobriety, or finds substantial healing caused by the trauma of a loved one’s sexual addiction, and exhibits leadership skills, they may be invited to consider a leadership role in their 423 group.