Guilt-Free Sex

Sex may not be the best thing in the world, but guilt-free sex must certainly be close to the top of the list. Frequent sex between a happily married man and woman is about as good as it gets. It’s a slice of heaven on earth.

I once saw a wedding greeting card with an illustration of a couple leaping for joy, champagne in hand. The front of the card read, “Enjoy your wedding day, but try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t just two people prancing around naked and engaging in all sorts of uncivilized behavior...” Opening the card, “...although that’s certainly something to aim for.” I laughed out loud (LOL) in hearty agreement.

Sexual intercourse, as God designed it, is the culmination of the most intimate, energizing, positive, joy-filled, idyllic expression of romantic love this world has to offer. No human could have invented sex. It’s far too remarkable. It transcends the farthest regions of all carnal imagination.

“There are three things that are too wonderful for me,
four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship in the sea,
and the way of a man with a woman.”

— Proverbs 30.18-19 NET

Sex is a divine gift. Why would anyone, after tasting Eden’s pure pleasure, settle for a counterfeit replica of the real thing? By comparison to God’s plan for sex, porneia offers nothing. Solo-sex with computerized images of unclothed people is cheap and easy but, of course, you get what you pay for. Cheap sex is any sex costing a person anything less than a lifelong commitment of fidelity in marriage between one man and one woman. Paradoxically, it leaves the sex junkie unsatisfied and hungry for more of the same. The cheap sex habit becomes addictive and tends to escalate because it will not satisfy. 

If you are not experiencing great sex God’s way, do your level best to find it in the arms of a loving husband or wife whom you commit to cherish “as long as you both shall live.”

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

— Proverbs 18.22 NKJV

In the meantime, trust Him who has your best intentions at heart. God does not promise an unlimited supply of guilt-free sex throughout life. If you now have it, rejoice. If you don’t, trust God who Himself said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2.18 NIV). Jesus is able to help you find the right woman perfectly suited for you, and during seasons of singleness, He will impart the grace you need to patiently wait. The same truth applies to every woman who is trusting God for a loving husband. 

God proved His love for me with the gift of marriage to an amazing wife. He granted me two decades of companionship, intimacy, love, and unbridled passion with the woman of my dreams. Whatever price I paid to pursue, court, nurture, and keep this woman was, in my estimation, wholly inadequate. She was worth much, much more than the highest and best I had to offer. Adonica was a divine gift, freely bestowed and wholly unmerited. She satisfied me in every way a woman can possibly satisfy a man. She was an angel. 

I did not deserve Adonica. She knew and embraced every part of me; my flaws, my essence, my humanness, and still she fully accepted me. She was to me tangible evidence of God’s transcendent mercy. Now Adonica is in heaven, yet her example of godliness leaves me forever convinced of God’s goodness. I could never replace her, nor will I ever try. I may remarry, but if I do not, Adonica’s love will last me for the rest of my life on earth. It will carry me until the day I see her again.

I no longer need porneia. Neither do you.

Dave ScrivenComment