423 Leadership
We do not import leaders. 423 Men, 423 Women, 423 Sisters, 423 Young Men, and 423 Parents leaders are home grown, having come to the program for the same reasons and through the same channels as every other person. Leaders possess basic leadership skills recognizable by the members of their group and, by virtue of their hard work in personal healing, are themselves experiencing progressive sexual sobriety and trauma recovery. Leaders in 423 Communities are qualified to lead, but not expected to be perfect. Rather, leaders are men and women with the integrity to be real, transparent, and authentic on their path of recovery. Most leaders do not feel qualified when first approached to serve in this capacity, an attitude which, ironically, reinforces their readiness. New leaders are recommended by current leaders, and we address the following policies with all incoming leaders before they step into an active leadership role:
1. Leaders in 423 Communities for sexual and trauma recovery are not preachers. 423 leadership is not a “pulpit” opportunity, nor is it a soapbox to promote pet doctrines, political views, or wealth of knowledge on any subject. Leaders help group members stay on the subject and avoid “debates about controversial topics and outside issues unrelated to healthy sexuality.”[1]
2. There are two levels of leadership in 423 Communities groups: co-leaders and support leaders. Two co-leaders share responsibility for the success of meetings. They typically take turns leading from week to week to give each other breaks and avoid leader burnout. A support leader fills an understudy role, preparing to take the helm as a new co-leader when a current co-leader transfers to another group, needs a break, drops from the program, moves away, or must step aside for any reason.
3. All leaders, both co-leaders and support leaders, form our 423 Leadership Team and are required to attend 423 Community leadership development meetings. Leadership Team meetings occur regionally and nationally with video conferencing and are scheduled no more than once a month.
4. Prospective leaders are asked to read and fully subscribe to the “423 Communities Leader Qualifications and Responsibilities” document which is included in the Appendix of The Pursuit of Porneia.
5. 423 Men, 423 Women, 423 Sisters, 423 Young Men, and 423 Parents leaders are aware of the high calling and responsibility of leadership and, consequently, do not step away from leadership without leaving their groups in better condition than they found them. In that spirit, a departing leader makes a genuine effort to find and recommend his or her replacement before saying good-bye to his or her group.
6. All 423 leaders must complete a background check to be reviewed by the 423 Board as required by 423 Communities International’s insurance carrier. This service is paid for by the faithful donations of 423 friends and members.
7. All leaders in 423 Communities believe in and financially support the mission of 423 Communities International: to shine the light of the gospel of sexual sobriety in every dark corner of the globe.
8. 423 Communities leaders occasionally and willingly give up a degree of anonymity, for example, when church leaders, such as pastors or elders, request a list of 423 leaders serving in their church.
423 leadership is facilitative rather than didactic in its approach to group management. Leaders model the ‘do not preach at or lecture’ guideline. Men and women leaders in 423 Communities are judged by how well they get everyone in group talking approximately equally. Some members are naturally verbose and have a hard time shutting up or staying on topic, and when given a chance to share, they over-share. Other participants are shy and will sit through a meeting without uttering a peep, if allowed. A good leader will gently shut down the over-talker and warmly draw out the shy person. This leadership practice can be delicate, but is a necessary skill for the well-being of any group. A dominating personality with too much to say can kill a meeting, and 423 leaders are trained not to allow that to happen.
Wise leaders apply this group dynamic principle: Group members emotionally invest in the group success when they verbally contribute to the group process. Quiet women and men who are not drawn out or expected to talk will soon drop out of the program. Over-talkers who say more than they should, ironically, also tend to leave group. Both are looking for guidance and boundaries, which 423 leaders must provide.
Group leaders do not teach in words, but by example. They facilitate discussion. A skillful leader carefully reads the homework assignment and develops thoughtful, probing, open-ended questions to aid in group discussion. Given the limitations of time, it may occasionally happen that a 423 leader will talk less than a typical member.
While 423 leadership is an unglamorous, servant-style role, it is, nevertheless, enormously rewarding. It is an incredible privilege to assist women and men in prying themselves from porneia’s insidious and firmly attached grasp and the trauma it perpetuates. It is a personal calling and a form of mentoring at the highest and deepest levels. Leadership in 423 is a personification of Jesus’ Great Commission to “go and make disciples” recorded in Matthew 28.18-20. 423 Men, 423 Women, 423 Sisters, 423 Young Men, and 423 Parents leadership is not for the faint of heart. Wimps need not apply. It’s a dirty ministry, without accolades, and not naturally spoken of in polite conversation. Yet, it is a rich and fulfilling pastoral care opportunity for those so called. Leaders are instrumental in changing the lives of individual 423 members, their families, churches, communities, and the world.
423 leaders follow Jude’s mandate to the early church. They “save” guys and gals by “snatching them out of the fire” of God’s holy judgment and porneia’s grip of death.
“And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire…” Jude 23 ESV
Without passionate, Jesus-called leaders, 423 Communities would cease to exist.
[1] Item 9 on “423 Communities Small Group Guidelines” included in the Appendix of this book.