John Mayer is a seven time Grammy award winning songwriter, music producer, and performer. His honest self-disclosure in a 2010 interview with Playboy magazine epitomizes this generation’s affinity with online porn. Soon after it was published, Mr. Mayer humbly and publicly apologized for his remarks in the interview as an attempt to be “witty” or “clever,” stating his ambition to become a “possible future grownup.”
After reading some of John Mayer’s comments below, try to cut this celebrity a little slack. He was a young man at the time of the interview, and dealing with fame of the sort you and I will likely never experience or be forced to endure. If you follow his music, you will detect his personal growth as an artist in the evolution of his craft (e.g., “Shadow Days” and “Love is a Verb” on his 2012 “Born and Raised” album). I am impressed with this man’s honest journey of self-discovery.
John Mayer’s moral standards are not mine, but I respect the man. In the Playboy interview, he unapologetically told it exactly like it was for him in that moment, and probably for countless other men who would rather enjoy solo-sex with pornographic images than go to the trouble or risk the unhappiness of pursuing, creating, or fixing a real, live relationship with a real, live woman.
Today, internet pornography is no longer the exclusive domain of men. Over twenty percent of the world's population view pornography, and one third of all porn users are women. That's over a half a billion women who are potentially addicted to internet porn!
Besides the fact that Mr. Mayer is not a professing follower of Jesus, what’s the real difference between this celebrity and many Christian men and women in unhappy, sexless marriages who secretly use porn? The answer is simple… John Mayer is honest. “According to the research approximately 64 percent, or two thirds, of U.S. men admit to viewing porn at least monthly, with the number of Christian men nearly equaling the national average.” The majority of Christian men are doing exactly the same thing as John Mayer, but keeping it a secret. They are lying to themselves and to their significant others. Men and women Jesus followers who use internet porn have become two people in one… the outside person they wish to portray publicly, and the inside one they presume will be rejected if others knew the truth. Therefore, they must hide their inner selves at all costs. Transparency and intimacy required for authentic relationships becomes a forgotten ideal. The irony is that millions of inner women and men would love to come out of hiding and meet each other; to embark on their journeys of self-discovery and together gain the confidence to quash porneia once and for all. Instead these precious souls live independently, keeping intimate company only with the other side of themselves. Their dual personalities are systematically killing them emotionally and slowly destroying any hope for real relationships.
This incongruity between persons' belief system and their behavior patterns is a setup for mental instability. Fear of exposure drives them deeper into isolation and, of course, widens the gap between opposing inner forces. They perceive themselves as liars and social outcasts. They hope for, but remain unassured of, God’s love and forgiveness. These Christians are overwhelmed with feelings of hypocrisy, a condition that hamstrings a person's efforts to effectively serve his or her family, church, and community.
Christians, who are active in their sex addiction, may seek to resolve the inner conflict by forming separate personas as the occasion requires. They assume their ‘bad self’ character when they choose to view pornography and masturbate, yet identify as a ‘good guy’ or a 'nice girl' with their brothers and sisters at church. If a man or woman's contrasting value systems begin to function independently, this person is in danger of becoming ‘two-people-in-one.’ Addicts may choose not to recognize their duplicity by living in denial for a time but, in moments of clarity, they conclude that it is not possible to satisfy both their desire for porneia and their hunger for God. This realization pushes them to the emotional brink where the dark pit of despair and utter alone-ness beckons like a siren of final destruction. Could God’s concern for our mental well-being be, in part, the reason Jesus warned, “No one can serve two masters” (Matthew 6.24 NAS)?
Women and men of God addicted to porn are trapped in an impossible situation. They cannot boldly proclaim Jesus who sets captives free when they cannot get themselves untangled from the tentacles of porneia. How can they inspire their sons and daughters to be sexually clean when they keep a hidden stash of favorite pornography on the laptop? In 423 Communities we say, “You can’t get clean until you come clean.” Everything starts with the truth and, of course, Jesus promised, “The truth will set you free” (John 8.32b ESV).
The pursuit of porneia brings death. You will die in your never-ending hunt for hedonistic pleasure. God’s plan brings vibrant, abundant, everlasting, and joy-filled life.
Perhaps you agree, or want to believe, that nothing satisfies like the real thing, but you have fallen under the weight of sexual addiction and toxic shame. You have concluded (prematurely) that you can never wrench yourself free from porneia's deadly grip.
Join a 423 Community now. There is hope.
 World population 2018 projection = 7,634,758,428 X 47% of world population on Internet X 43% of all Internet users viewing porn = 23.45% of world population (or nearly 1.8 billion people) using porn. Sources:
Webroot Smarter Security (https://www.webroot.com/us/en/resources/tips-articles/internet-pornography-by-the-numbers)
Hell Bound Bloggers updated 4/23/2017 (https://hellboundbloggers.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Intenet-and-Pornography.jpg)
Internet World Stats (https://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm).
 “Christian men view porn almost as much as non-Christians,” Joseph Pelletier, ChurchMilitant.com, January 18th, 2016.