Your wife is the woman of your dreams. She is the only woman for you. She alone is your standard of beauty. The ‘other woman,’ the so-called woman of your sexual fantasies, requires nothing from you, at first. She appears beautiful, understanding, warm, kind, sexy, and completely at your service, but her promise of fulfillment is wholly unnatural, phony, unreal, and demonic. She is porneia and nothing more than a skinny veneer for Satan himself. She ‘disguises herself as an angel of light’ and ‘masquerades as a servant of righteousness’ (see 2nd Corinthians 11.14-15 NAS, NIV). This “woman” will destroy you in the end.
The most important step in establishing intimacy with your wife is to tell her the truth about your sexual history. Many men would prefer to sacrifice intimacy on the altar of concealment. They would rather keep secrets than face the marital fallout and discord their full disclosure would likely cause. A decision to hide pertinent sexual facts from your wife is a form of deceit which is neither respect-worthy of you nor respectful of her. A doctor does not cover an infected wound with a bandage and call it good. That’s a quack, not a true practitioner. Rather, medical protocol demands that the doctor cause additional pain by further opening the wound, scouring the injury with disinfectant, and applying a proper bandage. Don’t be a quack of a husband. Step into the fray. Open, clean, and heal the wound. Take a risk. Man of God, tell the truth and fix your failing marriage, or die trying.
The Hebrew meaning of the verb ‘to know,’ when applied to God, “is to have an intimate experiential knowledge of Him.” It is not surprising, then, that one of the variety of meanings for the same Hebrew word ‘to know’ is sexual intercourse. God’s design for sex was intended to be so much more than a physical act. To ‘know’ my wife in the biblical sense means to truly experience the wonder and remarkableness of who she is, and to strive to make myself known to her in a similar way. Secrets are banned in this sacred setting. Intimacy of this kind literally dispels shame.
Sex, then, is sacramental in the sense that it is a physical expression of true intimacy between husband and wife resulting in further impartation of God’s grace to strengthen the union. Sex, of course, is not the main goal of marriage. Nakedness is an emotional concept long before it is a physical one. Great sex is not characterized by real nakedness, but by naked realness between a man and a woman in holy matrimony. The goal of marriage is intimacy and ‘oneness’ beautifully expressed in many acts of love, including the act of lovemaking.
In the context of 423 Men, the true “one flesh” union begins with a man’s decision to become fully transparent, authentic, and honest with his wife. Honesty is not a game. It is a matter of life and death for the marital union. “Full disclosure,” you say, “will kill my marriage, if she doesn’t kill me first.” If that is true, then your marriage is already dead and it’s your job to bring it back to life.
 The word “prostitute” used in Proverbs 7.10 of the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures (LXX) is pornikon, a derivative of the word porneia.
 Yada’ (to know) Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1985.
 Yada' (to know) is also used for sexual intercourse in the well-known euphemism “Adam knew Eve his wife” and its parallels (Genesis 4.1; 19.8; Numbers 31.17,35; Judges 11.39; 21:11; 1st Samuel 1.19; 1st Kings 1.4). From Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, 1980.